Friday, August 22


You'd think by now I emo too much. But that's just me I guess, because that such critical times, probably the only way of releasing all those pent-up feelings and emotions is to blog it out. Feels damn good after that. And I'm not blogging all these just because I'm emo right now.

Too busy to emo anyway. Between trying to straighten out my personal life and school work, there's barely time for myself. And I'm dead broke by the way, need tuition desperately.

I'm just left with tidying up the pieces after the storm.

Posted by Isabelle at 11:50 am

Sunday, August 17


I think I've never been so low in my life.

I've thought I should be at the pinnacle of my life, at year 4 of my university days, going with the flow, doing the things I want to do.

It's kind of eating me from the inside, and it's painful. It hurts a lot, that kind of aching pain that grinds your heart. But I'm trying to carry on with my life, pretending that nothing is wrong, and keep smiling and laughing. Trying really hard not to break down and cry.

But right now I just can't find the reason for me to go on. Probably one day when I look back and see, this period of my life may seem childish and ridiculous and I'll laugh at myself for being so down. But right here and now, I just want to cry. I want to tell my mum to stop screaming at me, want to start my FYP, want to start earning money.

I just want to break free.

Posted by Isabelle at 11:19 pm

Friday, August 15


I'm trying to escape from reality.

Posted by Isabelle at 8:37 pm

Wednesday, August 13


Keeping myself sane each day.

Posted by Isabelle at 2:23 am

Friday, August 8


I've made my first step last night. I can't say for sure that I won't regret my decision one day. Maybe I will, but right now at this point in time I know I have to walk this path. I want to, and I can say I will definitely regret if I choose to turn away.

It's sad, but I can also say it's inevitable. I'm going to walk this way alone. Like I said, I can see this twinkling of a small light at the end of the tunnel. It's small, but it's there. I just have to keep moving on. Stop turning back and waver.

I chose, because I want to follow my heart.

Posted by Isabelle at 1:22 am

Sunday, August 3


When I blogged my previous post about 1 week or so ago, I never expected that statement to sound so seriously superficial now.

Someone told me making right choices not just because it appears to be the publicly accepted right choice, but that it comes directly from what you choose to desire. Yes, there IS a choice to your desires.

I'm scared. I'm frightened to death. But I need to go through this by myself. No one else can walk the path for me. I'm fumbling in the dark, but I can see the specklet of light right down at the end of the path. It's small, it's barely visible, but it's there, and I have to keep trusting it's there.

Time can distort a lot of things. Time also preserves many. Ultimately, time gently pushes you bit by bit from the comfy spot you want to stand on forever, hopefully to that specklet of light.

Obviously when I blog nothing comes out in full flow. Bits and pieces of junk just fall out, and I can hope people who understand to be able to piece those little inklets of words to make out what I'm trying to say. I can only blog so much. There are some things which I want to say, and some that I prefer to keep.

And so, once again I want to say I'm going to take my life's next big step into a new phase in life. This statement, now, sounds just like the way it should sound.

Posted by Isabelle at 4:27 am